the funnies

A few of my friends do a really good job of recording funny things their kids say and do. Whenever something Tatum says makes me laugh, I always seem to think "I'll never forget that" but by the time I'm trying to tell Brennan about it that night I've already forgotten! So I've tried to follow the example of these friends and write down some of the amusing happenings more often. Here are some of them from the last three or four months.

[looking down at the tennis courts from our balcony after some rain] T: Why did the baseball track get sprayed." Um...almost?

T: Where is daddy daddy? Daddy is a stinker. A silly stinker. [This was while we were waiting for Brennan to get home from work one day.]

T:We need to clean up before daddy sees this messy, messy living room.
Me: We sure do
T: We sure sure do

[talking about the letter 'd'] T: It's pretty tricky for me but I can do it.

[One day we went to a park on the coast and we took our kite but there was no kite flying allowed. A few days later I was headed to another park with the kids and I told Tatum we weren't going to bring the kite because I wasn't sure if we could fly it at this park either. The following conversation happened as soon as we saw the first sign at the park.]
T: That sign says 'you.can.fly.kites.at.this.park.'
Me:You can read?
T: Yes, I can read my scriptures and signs.
[I guess I still seemed skeptical, because when we passed another sign she continued.]
T:That sign says you can fly your kite here even with not instructions.

[We were on our way home late one night and remembered we were out of apples. But then realized the grocery store wasn't open because of a public holiday.]
T: But I really love apples. And do we have any apples? No!!

Me: Tatum look at the orangutans!
T: Mom, those are monkeys. Don't call them orangutans.

T: Declan be like uhhhh, what you doing there?

T: (big sigh) I can't find any shoes that match my dress! [She is very concerned with matching.]

A prayer she said one night:
Thank you that Declan can have nice hair. Thank you that I can like it like that. Thank you that we could have pancakes. Thank you that we could clean up and that Declan could get all the cards and help.

She says 'maybe' instead of 'I mean'.  So if she starts to say something to me but says daddy first on accident she will say "daddy, I-maybe, mommy, I....." Every time.

[One day I was feeling a little smothered and said something about needing some space.]
T: Here I can give you some space. Because I love you. (Way to make me feel guilty about demanding some space!)

[One day Tatum got caught with something out of Brennan's night stand. I can't remember what it was. Probably his passport.]
B: You shouldn't take things from my drawer.
T: Yeah but it wasn't naughty it was an accident.
Brennan pulls a weird face but says nothing.
T; You're silly daddy don't say those things every time.

[Declan was screaming because Brennan got mad at him about something. Tatum was out on the porch but heard him and comes running inside.]
T: Awwwww. It's okay. (Kisses him on the head and then goes to find Brennan.)
T: Daddy you need to be nice to Declan!

[Tatum is scared to death of the vacuum and we kind of like to torment her (especially me). This was after I chased her one night.]
T: She almost vacuumed me!
B: She almost vacuumed you?! What would have happened?
T: (sadly) She wouldn't have a Tatum anymore.

I cannot remember the premise of this one.
B: Tatum she just is, so back off. (referring to me)
T: No you back off daddy. I'm telling mommy a question.

[Tatum had just used her bathroom. Earlier it was a huge mess, made by Declan.]
T: Mom you did a great job in the bathroom with Declan!

[Declan was screaming a lot one morning. For no identifiable reason, so I had basically given up.]
T: (throws herself on the couch quite dramatically and sighs) It's hard having a brother.